We started our first batch of homebrew (Brew De la Casa) and it feels like an experiment doomed from the get go. Only time will tell how it turns out. Hopefully it is drinkable and more than muddy stump water. It will be another few weeks before all is said and done. [Side thought - Patience is earned by agony and torture in my opinion. If you really knew how God has been working on patience with me you would think I should be nothing but pure virtue by now. Hopefully in life much like in Brew De La Casa I will see an end to the waiting soon. But that’s all another story for another day.] I will lay out the whole Brew De La Casa experiment when all is done.
I would like to talk about the “Eli Condition”. In my mind I multitask, which means I am thinking about several completely different things at any given moment of time. So remembering what I need to do and even completing conversations kind of gets suppressed to lower levels of thought.
Example: Saturday night our subject “Eli” goes to dinner, he enjoys his sushi and conversation, he gets in car to leave and go to a party, he then looks at written note of stuff he needs accomplish tonight (written on back of his left hand is the word “Beer”) and in the next 5 minutes this is what goes on in his mind.
He calculates what the best place for quality beer in reasonable distance from route to final destination. Finalizes which route he will take, remembers the most important thing he does tonight is get ***Brown Bottles with Pop Top Lids*** because he needs roughly 60 of the 12 ounce bottles to contain his new homebrew experiment in and he needs to collect the 60 sum bottles in the next few weeks before he bottles the brew. He then does a quick review of why it is only Brown bottles that he wants, because when light hits beer it provides the energy necessary to drive a reaction that transforms the iso-alpha-acids into 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol causing beer to go skunk. Brown bottles let in the least amount of light so those are the best ones to use because skunk beer is no good. Thinks that is cool science, how come we didn’t talk about that in high school chemistry. He is reminded of the cartoon caricature Pepe Le Pew the skunk getting drunk on love (chuckles out loud as he gets out of car to walk to the Food City near the restaurant). Buy Brown Bottles. He thinks about his right knee since it is still a little sore from falling out of the church attic several weeks ago. Wonders if his dominate right leg is now equal in stride with non-dominant left leg and if stuck in a desert will walk in a straight line instead of a circle over a distance of 50 miles. Decides to buy some Ibuprofen because it is the least harmful NSAID on the stomach lining and liver when used in combination with alcohol. Buy Brown Beer Bottles. Amazed he didn’t break his neck falling out of the attic, wonders what it would be like to be Christopher Reeves before he died but after the accident. Decides he would rather die than be paraplegic. Reviews conversation from dinner and analyze it for key words in combination with facial cues to determine intent of fellow dinner companions. Nothing sticks out from conversation (Looks at watch as walking in door to grocery store). Estimates time of arrival at party calculating amount of people in store and waiting in line, weather outside is raining slowing driving time, and guessing about 2 minuets to choose from beer selection. Buy Brown Beer bottles. Knows he is only getting a 6 pack, but is reminded about his college days when grabbing beer to hang out with the same people he would have grabbed a 24 pack and spent about the same amount of money. He realizes that the price of beer for him has stayed a constant while quality, volume, and time have been variables and quality and volume are inversely proportional to each other (chuckles to self again). Buy Brown Beer. Looks at the beer selection and decides on a 6pack of Newcastle. Wonders what it would be like to live in Newcastle England, and bets that it rains there all the time like it is raining outside at current moment. (Hands ID to female cashier who is in conversation with male assistant manager) Listens to conversation, not relevant so starts to ignore what they are saying but watches for facial tones and other non-verbal expressions. Decides they are friends outside of work, the cashier likes the assistant manager and flirts strongly because she knows it is not going to go anywhere and that makes her more comfortable, meanwhile assistant manager is looking at a more attractive female cashier about 20 feet away from the corner of his eye every few seconds, for him cute cashier is not ruled out as a possibility (without thinking says “thank you” to cashier and grabs bag of Newcastle). Wonders what the three employees will look like when they are old. He realizes that last thought was really random and then shakes his head at himself as he walks out the door. Knows he is forgetting something, what is it? He can’t remember if he said “thank you” to the cashier or not. Thinks that must have been what he forgot since he can’t remember saying anything. Remembers he has one 600mg Ibuprofen in jacket pocket from snowboarding trip two weeks ago, that had to be what he forgot, feeling he forgot something leaves him. Can’t believe it’s already been two weeks since new years (gets in car).
I would like to talk about the “Eli Condition”. In my mind I multitask, which means I am thinking about several completely different things at any given moment of time. So remembering what I need to do and even completing conversations kind of gets suppressed to lower levels of thought.
Example: Saturday night our subject “Eli” goes to dinner, he enjoys his sushi and conversation, he gets in car to leave and go to a party, he then looks at written note of stuff he needs accomplish tonight (written on back of his left hand is the word “Beer”) and in the next 5 minutes this is what goes on in his mind.
He calculates what the best place for quality beer in reasonable distance from route to final destination. Finalizes which route he will take, remembers the most important thing he does tonight is get ***Brown Bottles with Pop Top Lids*** because he needs roughly 60 of the 12 ounce bottles to contain his new homebrew experiment in and he needs to collect the 60 sum bottles in the next few weeks before he bottles the brew. He then does a quick review of why it is only Brown bottles that he wants, because when light hits beer it provides the energy necessary to drive a reaction that transforms the iso-alpha-acids into 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol causing beer to go skunk. Brown bottles let in the least amount of light so those are the best ones to use because skunk beer is no good. Thinks that is cool science, how come we didn’t talk about that in high school chemistry. He is reminded of the cartoon caricature Pepe Le Pew the skunk getting drunk on love (chuckles out loud as he gets out of car to walk to the Food City near the restaurant). Buy Brown Bottles. He thinks about his right knee since it is still a little sore from falling out of the church attic several weeks ago. Wonders if his dominate right leg is now equal in stride with non-dominant left leg and if stuck in a desert will walk in a straight line instead of a circle over a distance of 50 miles. Decides to buy some Ibuprofen because it is the least harmful NSAID on the stomach lining and liver when used in combination with alcohol. Buy Brown Beer Bottles. Amazed he didn’t break his neck falling out of the attic, wonders what it would be like to be Christopher Reeves before he died but after the accident. Decides he would rather die than be paraplegic. Reviews conversation from dinner and analyze it for key words in combination with facial cues to determine intent of fellow dinner companions. Nothing sticks out from conversation (Looks at watch as walking in door to grocery store). Estimates time of arrival at party calculating amount of people in store and waiting in line, weather outside is raining slowing driving time, and guessing about 2 minuets to choose from beer selection. Buy Brown Beer bottles. Knows he is only getting a 6 pack, but is reminded about his college days when grabbing beer to hang out with the same people he would have grabbed a 24 pack and spent about the same amount of money. He realizes that the price of beer for him has stayed a constant while quality, volume, and time have been variables and quality and volume are inversely proportional to each other (chuckles to self again). Buy Brown Beer. Looks at the beer selection and decides on a 6pack of Newcastle. Wonders what it would be like to live in Newcastle England, and bets that it rains there all the time like it is raining outside at current moment. (Hands ID to female cashier who is in conversation with male assistant manager) Listens to conversation, not relevant so starts to ignore what they are saying but watches for facial tones and other non-verbal expressions. Decides they are friends outside of work, the cashier likes the assistant manager and flirts strongly because she knows it is not going to go anywhere and that makes her more comfortable, meanwhile assistant manager is looking at a more attractive female cashier about 20 feet away from the corner of his eye every few seconds, for him cute cashier is not ruled out as a possibility (without thinking says “thank you” to cashier and grabs bag of Newcastle). Wonders what the three employees will look like when they are old. He realizes that last thought was really random and then shakes his head at himself as he walks out the door. Knows he is forgetting something, what is it? He can’t remember if he said “thank you” to the cashier or not. Thinks that must have been what he forgot since he can’t remember saying anything. Remembers he has one 600mg Ibuprofen in jacket pocket from snowboarding trip two weeks ago, that had to be what he forgot, feeling he forgot something leaves him. Can’t believe it’s already been two weeks since new years (gets in car).
Later at the party after the first few sips of my Newcastle I could have kicked myself because Newcastle comes in CLEAR BOTTLES!!! UGH. And that is a prime example of the “Eli Condition”. I hope I’m not alone in my condition, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was.
2 comments:
Is it sad that I was sitting here during "Eli's" thought processes thinking, "Wait a second, doesn't Newcastle just come in clear bottles with the cool yellow labels?"
R I personally find it more impressive than sad. What is sad however is the fact I was blinded by taste into thinking Newcastle came in brown bottles. But I'm not ashamed.
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