The other day I was working in the pharmacy as normal. Being the nice pharmacist I always try to be
with my patients and employees. It was
busy as normal too. With lots of noise
from people talking, background music playing, phones ringing, fax machine receiving,
printers printing, computers whirling, one ear on the phone, another listing to
a conversation in the drive-through between a technician and a patron. And what was being said in the drive-through wasn't %100 accurate, so I called for my technicians name trying to get her
attention… no response… I tried louder… still no response… so I switched to my
stadium voice and yelled her name… I must have skipped a step up level of volume because everything came to a stop… I had got EVERYONE’s attention. What a saw in the faces around me stood out
in my mind. It was the look of shock
because that move was out of character
for me. I gave the technician the
correct information and went on about business as usual and didn't think
anymore of it.
But then last night I started thinking about Jekyll and Hyde
and icebergs… I've never read the novella, but I understand the concept. The basic idea is there are two opposing truths
living in a person, a good and an evil side.
This concept rings true today as much as it did back in 1886 Scotland
when “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde” was published. There are two sides to every living person,
the side that they show, the public face if you will, and the side that is
unseen. This is much like an
iceberg. For your typical iceberg
towering above ships visible to the whole air breathing world to see is
just the tip, only %10 of its volume. The
other %90 percent is beneath the waters, unseen and unknown, in the dark deep
blue.
In an effort to not be two faced, back in college I made it
a policy to live my life on my sleeve. I'm not going to proclaim the wild stories and conquest of my past for the world to
hear but if someone were to ask me about it, I will answer their questions the
best I can remember. If someone has the
balls to ask a question too personal in polite society, I will repay the ballsiness
with an answer. But if I were to answer
all the questions one could ask, that’s only a fraction of who I am. If I ever get married, I'm sure my wife will
know me more that the visible %10, but even after years and years of being
married she will still only know a fraction of my being. I like to think I have a good heart, but I
know my ledger has a lot of red ink. I’m
not a goodie two shoes nor will I ever be.
I enjoy pushing the limits and testing boundaries. I know if I yoke up to someone who doesn't have a strong character I will tear them to pieces over time. Someone shallow I will get bored with quickly. Someone who has stopped growing, I will unintentionally
mow them down. The %10 percent you see
is just the tip of the iceberg, and I go deep.
My epiphany in all this is that no matter how much I try to
live my life out in the open there is more to me that will be forever unseen. What you see publicly in a person, whether it
be “he’s a nice guy”, “A real Jerk”, “A saint”, “A sinner”, “Mother Teresa”, “Larry Flynt”, you don't really know them. No
matter how long you're in a relationship with someone, you may know their essence,
but you don't know their whole being. Only
God knows us fully and He loves us no matter the Hyde side. So don't be quick to judge a book by its
cover, there is more. There is always
more and no matter how long you have known someone, they will always surprise
you. Hopefully it’s a good surprise.
