A loss for words

It feels so uncomfortable when at times in my life I am left without words. It’s as if there is a heavy weight on my heart, my mind goes dim, and can’t find what I want to say, I can’t even carry on a simple conversation. Maybe it is fear that fogs my mind; fear that I will say the wrong thing. There is a lot of power held within the tongue, as if each word spoken carries eternal weight. Whatever it is, it’s a foreign feeling to me and it’s not comfortable. It’s my job to have the answers and to be able to convey them at any level of comprehension, why can’t I carry that over to other aspects of my life? Do some words weigh more than others? Do some conversations weigh more than others? How can you go from one easy flowing conversation with basically a strange which you know holds eternal weight, to moments later not being able to put full sentences together in another conversation with someone you have know for years? I’m a mystery to even myself, very frustrating. Yet another quirk I shake my head at and can only hand over to God. Your Will Be Done Lord. I am Your servant first and foremost.

In other rants, I think the river is finally too cold to catch bass. I have struck out every day this past week behind the house. I think I will try some deeper slow moving water the next day I have off.


(The last one, two weeks ago)